The last week or so has been an amazing time for me! During
the month of April, I was feeling progressively more and more anxious about a
number of issues (unemployment being a pretty big one). I was also feeling rather
desperate because in Zambia I spent the last three weeks with a tangible
feeling of the Lord’s presence everywhere I went and an uncontrollable joy.
These feelings had long since fizzled out after returning to the States. I knew
that location means nothing to God (though it is true that He can more easily
accomplish some things in a new location because of what change does in us but
that’s a subject for another post) so I was trying to figure out what needed to
change to get me back to a place of walking in joy and feeling Him.
There is a lady in our church who is a street
evangelist/healer. Her name is Emiko and I had heard that she had done some
pretty amazing things. I guess it’s been almost two weeks ago now that I asked
Emiko some questions about it. She was telling me about making someone’s arm
grow. Absentmindedly, as she was talking, I decided to see if MY arms were
different sizes. As I’m holding them out to check, she tells me to keep them
there and she begins to command my arms to grow. I’m telling you, this was a
freaky experience. She ended up making my arm grow and then even-ing them out
again. If you’re wondering why God would do something like this, well, I’m
learning He is an intensely fun joker. He loves showing us that He is in charge
and capable of whatever He wants. And sometimes all He wants is the joy of
watching us stand in awe and wonder at what He can do. This experience spurred
me on to start doing street ministry with Emiko but I’ll get to that in a
minute.
After this encounter, I was still feeling a lack of the
presence of God, worry about my future, and even a little depression at this
point because I was giving myself such a hard time about not seeing breakthrough
in these areas. Finally I asked the Lord what to do. I heard Him tell me to get
this particular Graham Cooke teaching. When I looked on Graham’s website, sure
enough there was the teaching that the Lord told me about. I got it and, as I
was listening to it, Graham starts saying things like “have you ever asked the
Lord…” fill in the blank cuz I’d been asking Him a lot of questions. And I’m
just like “Yeah I have! Exactly how you just phrased it even!” Then Graham
proceeded to tell me what God was doing. I’m telling you guys, this thing has
changed my life. At the end, Graham gives an assignment. Among many things, the
two big things that he had me ask God was “what aspect of His character was He
wanting to teach me to walk in from this point forward” and “who did God want
to be for me during these struggles?” I sat down and asked God and He told me
that He is teaching me joy and peace and that He wants to be my Daddy. The
impression I got when He said Daddy is like I’m a little three or four year old
with literally no care in the world. My only “job” right now is to marvel at
the world again and recapture a sense of awe, joy, and carefree-ness (if that’s
a word).
Ok, back to street ministry. The most encouraging story from
the three times I’ve gone is this: We met a lady who has some disease that
causes pain in her body all the time. She also has inflammation of the spine.
Emiko started commanding healing in her body. The pain started to get worse. I
laid my hand on her shoulder and just quietly asked the Lord if He wanted to
say anything. First, he told me about her kids and their issue with their
father (they don’t know him) and then about her issue with her father as a
child (he died when she was nine). Emiko and I began to minister to that past
hurt. Then Emiko started praying for the pain again and it began to lessen.
Then God told me to ask her about her dreams. She told me that she only has
nightmares. Then Jesus told me to tell her that He’s going to take away her
nightmares and for the next two weeks, He’s going to visit her in her dreams
and minister healing to her past and show her where He’s been throughout her
life and how He had brought her through to this point. By the time we left, she
was pain-free and had shed some tears because she had encountered God. That was
a lot of fun!
So, the reason I’m telling you this is not just to give you
an update on my life or to give you some cool stories that you can share. I
want to challenge you. Push your relationship with God. We all say He wants a
personal relationship but how much do we really mean it. How close does He want
it to be? I think it’s safe to say, He wants to be first in EVERY area of our
life, including romance. If you’re single and feeling lonely, ask Him to hold
your hand and EXPECT Him to do it (He will, trust me). If you want to
experience joy, ask Him to tell you some jokes. Some of them are really kinda
cheesy but His laughter is so contagious you can’t help but laugh at them. Are
you feeling like you need a mom or dad to talk to about your hurts? Tell Him
and then listen to His response (He WILL talk to you if you quiet yourself).
Then choose joy and choose to walk in what He has given you.
