Disclaimer

In my pursuit of Jesus, I love studying Scripture. I love memorizing it, taking it back to it's original language and wrestling with the meaning (sometimes translating whole passages with direct definitions to get the full nuance of the meaning), and I love having the Holy Spirit teach me new things. Sometimes, though, I really enjoy just sitting back and listening to someone else teach the Word. There are many people who have been walking with the Lord longer than I and who have received insights that astound me.

In the course of my endeavors to glean from respected teachers, I've come across many teachings and beliefs that I find fascinating. Terms like Calvinism, Arminianism, Palagianism, Monergism are bandied about constantly. My problem is, and maybe this is my arrogant youth (forgive me if it is), that I seem to be able to use Scripture to refute some of the points in ALL of these theological/soteriological beliefs. Thus, I am beginning a series of blog entries in an attempt to come to some sort of resolution or harmony in these beliefs.

As I begin this journey, I welcome friends to comment with insights, questions, thoughts, or anything really that will help contribute to this search. What I don't want, however, is arguing, fighting, or even just a simple "this is the way it is" approach to your viewpoints. As I've talked with many of my friends, this particular area of our beliefs is tough for anyone to nail down so, more than likely, if you think you have the totally correct answer, you probably haven't thought about it enough. So, to summarize: Please! comment, question, suggest, lead, direct; whatever! but above all, be respectful.

Power, Peace, Presence

The last week or so has been an amazing time for me! During the month of April, I was feeling progressively more and more anxious about a number of issues (unemployment being a pretty big one). I was also feeling rather desperate because in Zambia I spent the last three weeks with a tangible feeling of the Lord’s presence everywhere I went and an uncontrollable joy. These feelings had long since fizzled out after returning to the States. I knew that location means nothing to God (though it is true that He can more easily accomplish some things in a new location because of what change does in us but that’s a subject for another post) so I was trying to figure out what needed to change to get me back to a place of walking in joy and feeling Him.

There is a lady in our church who is a street evangelist/healer. Her name is Emiko and I had heard that she had done some pretty amazing things. I guess it’s been almost two weeks ago now that I asked Emiko some questions about it. She was telling me about making someone’s arm grow. Absentmindedly, as she was talking, I decided to see if MY arms were different sizes. As I’m holding them out to check, she tells me to keep them there and she begins to command my arms to grow. I’m telling you, this was a freaky experience. She ended up making my arm grow and then even-ing them out again. If you’re wondering why God would do something like this, well, I’m learning He is an intensely fun joker. He loves showing us that He is in charge and capable of whatever He wants. And sometimes all He wants is the joy of watching us stand in awe and wonder at what He can do. This experience spurred me on to start doing street ministry with Emiko but I’ll get to that in a minute.

After this encounter, I was still feeling a lack of the presence of God, worry about my future, and even a little depression at this point because I was giving myself such a hard time about not seeing breakthrough in these areas. Finally I asked the Lord what to do. I heard Him tell me to get this particular Graham Cooke teaching. When I looked on Graham’s website, sure enough there was the teaching that the Lord told me about. I got it and, as I was listening to it, Graham starts saying things like “have you ever asked the Lord…” fill in the blank cuz I’d been asking Him a lot of questions. And I’m just like “Yeah I have! Exactly how you just phrased it even!” Then Graham proceeded to tell me what God was doing. I’m telling you guys, this thing has changed my life. At the end, Graham gives an assignment. Among many things, the two big things that he had me ask God was “what aspect of His character was He wanting to teach me to walk in from this point forward” and “who did God want to be for me during these struggles?” I sat down and asked God and He told me that He is teaching me joy and peace and that He wants to be my Daddy. The impression I got when He said Daddy is like I’m a little three or four year old with literally no care in the world. My only “job” right now is to marvel at the world again and recapture a sense of awe, joy, and carefree-ness (if that’s a word).

 Guys, I can’t tell you how amazing it’s been. I’m not 100% joyful all the time. But when I CHOOSE joy in my circumstance, it comes like a flood from heaven. I will start laughing for no reason at all (other than perhaps, why not laugh?! Life is good!). Another big thing that’s been happening is He and I have been holding hands. I know that sounds weird. For those of you who I’m really close to, you know this isn’t the first time this has happened. But this is the most it’s happened in such a short period of time. Basically, any time I want to hold His hand, He is eager and willing to take mine in His.

Ok, back to street ministry. The most encouraging story from the three times I’ve gone is this: We met a lady who has some disease that causes pain in her body all the time. She also has inflammation of the spine. Emiko started commanding healing in her body. The pain started to get worse. I laid my hand on her shoulder and just quietly asked the Lord if He wanted to say anything. First, he told me about her kids and their issue with their father (they don’t know him) and then about her issue with her father as a child (he died when she was nine). Emiko and I began to minister to that past hurt. Then Emiko started praying for the pain again and it began to lessen. Then God told me to ask her about her dreams. She told me that she only has nightmares. Then Jesus told me to tell her that He’s going to take away her nightmares and for the next two weeks, He’s going to visit her in her dreams and minister healing to her past and show her where He’s been throughout her life and how He had brought her through to this point. By the time we left, she was pain-free and had shed some tears because she had encountered God. That was a lot of fun!

So, the reason I’m telling you this is not just to give you an update on my life or to give you some cool stories that you can share. I want to challenge you. Push your relationship with God. We all say He wants a personal relationship but how much do we really mean it. How close does He want it to be? I think it’s safe to say, He wants to be first in EVERY area of our life, including romance. If you’re single and feeling lonely, ask Him to hold your hand and EXPECT Him to do it (He will, trust me). If you want to experience joy, ask Him to tell you some jokes. Some of them are really kinda cheesy but His laughter is so contagious you can’t help but laugh at them. Are you feeling like you need a mom or dad to talk to about your hurts? Tell Him and then listen to His response (He WILL talk to you if you quiet yourself). Then choose joy and choose to walk in what He has given you.

Yet Another Person Talking About Gay Marriage?!

This topic is talked about way too much for my liking. I'm only writing this because someone said they thought I should so for what they’re worth, here are my two cents on this issue. First, this is an argument of semantics. Christians say that marriage is a joining of a man and woman in the sight of GOD. Others say that it is a joining of two people in a union in the eyes of the STATE. If every non-believer suddenly referred to a couch as a candle, we’d just think “wow, they are way off base” and continue living our lives (hopefully following my sleep-deprived, jumbled thoughts you will deduce that I’m implying we, the Church, would live our lives, in the case of marriage, in such a way that we would SHOW the world the way it’s meant to be, letting our actions speak).

Second, and more important, the Bible clearly states we are not to judge or disassociate ourselves from non-believers because of their immorality (see 1 Corinthians 5 to get the full scoop). We are only to judge those who profess to know Christ, and even then, it’s to be in a loving way that brings them closer to God. My opinion on this is it’s a slippery slope because too many Christians use this authority to judge as an excuse to condemn. These are two very separate things. We are to judge many things. We are NEVER to condemn. That’s what most of this passionate rhetoric (from both sides) has spurred: condemnation.

So, to sum up: homosexuality is sinful. It’s to be judged in the Church (lovingly! I cannot emphasize this enough). It is not to be judged outside the church. If gay marriage becomes legal, it will sadden me that our culture has lost yet another battle in the war to attain godliness but I see no problem, Biblically, with a state-instituted union. If they want to call it marriage and it bothers enough people, maybe the Church should just rename it. Remember when being called “Christian” was so skewed that everyone wanted to be “Jesus Followers?” Of course, now both are skewed, but I say that to note that we could call a union in the Church something like Holy Matrimony and we’d all be happy.

“Do your best to live at peace with each other.” Man, why’s that sound so familiar?

Dreams and Thoughts

These last few weeks, the Lord has really been teaching me some cool things and reminding me of some truths that I somehow have let slip away. First off, I got into an argument with someone a couple of weeks ago. I said some things that I instantly regretted. I’m realizing that I can be greedy at times. Not for tangible things, per-se, but like personal space, privacy, respect, etc. When I feel like these things are taken from me, I can become angry and do things that aren't Christ-like.

After the confrontation, we apologized to each other but I was still feeling like total crap; just tons of condemnation on me. I fell asleep that night praying and had two consecutive dreams from the Lord.

In the first, I was walking through a city. The buildings were all made of concrete and looked cool, except that, in the neighborhood where I was walking, they were all collapsed, like some great earthquake had hit and there was no one around. I walked farther and ran into an area that looked brand new and completely renovated. It was teeming with life. I met the Lord there and He was so happy and joyful in His work of renovating. Progressing at His own pace but showing no worry about the other parts of the city still torn down. He showed me a garden that He had planted. In the center of the garden was a tree of Life. He told me to take and eat, so I plucked a fruit and bit in. It was amazingly delicious! It had the taste of pomegranate, but somehow better, and none of the mess of digging out seeds. As I ate, juice dripped down onto my arms. It looked like blood. Jesus told me to rub it in and, as I did so, my skin began to glow with radiance and a tangible righteousness. Other people began to eat. The Lord told me that we were in my mind and that He was working to rebuild the areas that had been destroyed by the enemy, by lies, by the world, and by bad choices I had made. As He fixes each part, it becomes a place where others can come and partake of Life. And He is sooooo happy with His task and not concerned with the other areas at all, knowing that they will be repaired eventually.

The next dream I had, I was walking hand in hand with two men. They were skipping and trying to get me to skip as well. They were so full of joy and laughter. I can’t describe it. I've never seen such joy in my entire life. As they were skipping and laughing, they were singing the same lines over and over again: “Come let us return unto the Lord” I knew then that I was with Jesus and the Holy Spirit and that they were happy to be with me, even in those times when I turn away from the Father. They consider it pure joy to bring me back to the right path and that, even when I stray, they love me so much that it’s joyful for them to follow with me and just be with me. So stinkin encouraging!

Another thing that I've been thinking about is how I respond to things that offend me or confrontations, etc. I'm realizing that my responses are not bringing life to people. Instead of reminding them of who they used to be (or maybe even still are, outwardly) I should be calling out of them what they were made to be. Responding in deep love, encouragement, and help instead of condemnation, anger, or defense. This is going to be an interesting experiment =)

Help Me!

If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, you are aware that I was recently in a wreck here in Zambia. I just got back the cost of fixing the vehicle. It’s going to be $160. My goal here is to bless the Love’s Door team. I feel like I’ve been helping out and that my time here has been and will continue to be fruitful. However, I don’t want this incident to be a tainting of my visit.

I just want to say, first of all, how incredibly grateful I am to everyone who supported me in coming here. I’m always so humbled when I see the response of my friends and family. I’m not always the most vocal with my thanksgiving (something I’m working on) but I feel so blessed to have you all in my life.

If you feel that you can (in any way, small or large) help me cover this expense, I will be immensely grateful! I want to try to make this as easy as I can for you to help me bless this ministry so there are two ways you can give.

First, you can mail a donation to:

Love’s Door

PO Box 1185

Philomath, OR 97078

If you use this method, PLEASE put a note in with your donation indicating that it is to help with Adam’s Vehicle Repair.

The other option is through my Go Fund Me account. You can access that here.

Thank you so much again for helping me out. I love you all!

Illegal Immigrants!

On Thursday, I drove out to the village to pick up some of the guys who had stayed there. On my way back to town, I was stopped by immigration. They were looking for people involved in human trafficking and such. They asked all of us for our id’s. Zech and I only had our driver’s licenses on us and some of the Zambians didn’t even have that. The guy told us that he would be well within his rights to detain us until our passports were brought. Luckily, he let us go.

This stop reminded me that Dawna and I were supposed to have our visa’s renewed on January 8^th. It was now the 10^th.  Unfortunately, immigration was closed already that day. So, when I got back to town, I talked to Regina and she said she thought the fine was $100 per day that we were late. Since we were going in on the 11^th, it would have been a $300 fine for each one of us. Neither one of us has that kind of money.

So Friday morning, Mike, Dawna, and I prayed briefly and headed down to throw ourselves on their mercy. When we got there, Mike explained our situation to the lady and apologized and asked for mercy. She then informed us that they no longer fine people for being late. (Sounded good to me!) Instead, they just take them straight to jail to face trial. (That didn’t sound so good to me!) She proceeded to tell Mike that he would be joining Dawna and I in jail since he was harboring illegal immigrants. We tried to plead with her a bit more but she just told us to have a seat and wait to be taken to jail.

After a little bit, Dawna started to explain that she didn’t have any idea that she was supposed to renew her visa after thirty days and asked how much it would cost to get us out of this mess. The lady told her that ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law. But she also said that we could participate in some special program that would cost us $4000 each. It would keep us out of jail and allow us to be in the country for like two years or something. Well, as I said before, we definitely don’t have that kind of money.

We sat there for a little bit and then the lady asked us how long we would like to stay in Zambia. We told her that we were both here until February 20^th. She started to do something in our passports and asked us to have a seat. Our hopes soared! And then Dan came in. He informed the immigration officer that he was the ceo of the organization we were working with. She jumped right back to the “harboring illegal immigrants” thing and asked where the handcuffs were. Admittedly, I don’t fully remember what was said. I just remember at some point Dan asked what the law was and she said jail and he told her that we must follow the law. Then he left to go get some paperwork that we had left at the team house.

At this point, I was pretty sure that we were going to jail. I was actually a little bit excited. I’d never been to jail and I figured it would make a cool story. Plus, I’d be going with Mike so it wouldn’t be too bad. I reasoned that if I went to jail, it’s because God wanted me there so I was excited to see what would happen.

However, about five minutes after Dan left. She called us back up and gave us our passports and let us go! I should mention, the whole time this was going on, there was a British girl sitting next to us trying to cheer us up. When she heard we were going to jail, she texted a friend who got us the number for the American Embassy in Zambia (after this experience, I’d recommend you learn that number if you travel). That was really cool of her. I don’t think we ever got her name, though.

After we were released, I checked online and the law in Zambia is either $3750 or jail. When you go to jail, you appear before a judge who decided your fine and then you are deported. God really was looking out for us and got us out of some big trouble there. Needless to say, I don’t think we’ll be forgetting our next renewal date!

Accident

Here’s a story of my last few days. Bear in mind that we always think in terms of our experiences, and I’m no different. My experiences growing up in Indiana shaped a lot of the assumptions I made in this situation. That being said…

The other day, I was parked next to a rather large truck (think mini-semi). So I was having difficulty seeing behind me. I happened to have a guy with me though. From what I could see, there was a tan colored car stopped far enough back that I had plenty of room to back out. He had his hazard lights on. The guy with me said “He is signaling for you to back out; he wants your spot.” I then proceeded to back out. I heard some honking. Didn’t think anything of it and started to drive away.

Suddenly, a green car comes flying up next to me and the guy is yelling at me to pull over. He keeps swerving over and almost hitting me. I’m thinking that I must have cut this guy off and he’s ticked and wants to fight. There’s no way I’m pulling over. Finally, the guy I’m riding with explains that apparently I hit this guy and that I should pull over to talk.

I pull over and suddenly a huge crowd forms around us. So much yelling and talking in a language I can’t understand. Finally, the guy (David) tells me to follow him to a place we can talk. We go there but four other guys hop into his car. I’m thinking they’re friends of his and quickly trying to work out what I’m going to do if they want to fight.

Finally we pull over on this side street, into a dirt parking lot. As we get out, David and his four “friends” talk. Then he tells me that we can either get the police involved or “someone must work on my car.” I call Dan because I figure he has a better idea of what to do in this situation and also it’s his vehicle. He tells me to take it and just get it fixed if I can.

I know where the mechanic is that Dan and Regina use so I ask if we can go there. He agrees and hops in his vehicle and I in mine. Then his four friends come over to my truck and tell me “You give us money, or we go to the police.” This starts to make me a little bit angry. So I say “I have no money to give you.” Then they tell me they are going to go to the police. I hop out of my truck and tell David “These guys say that if I don’t pay them, they will go to the police. I have no money to give them so should you and I just go to the police together?” I made sure the four guys heard me say this and understood I wasn’t afraid of their threat. David responds “I have nothing to do with these guys. You just follow me.” Reminds me of Jesus words.

When I get back to my truck the guys say again “you give us three hundred thousand or we go to the police.” (three hundred thousand is equivalent to $60 and there’s no way I’m giving them anything; I don’t respond to bribes or blackmail). At this point I’m really irritated with them so I say “Right now you are trying to take advantage of someone who just had an accident and is a bit frazzled. What you are doing is rude, inconsiderate, and wrong.” And I drove off with them still threatening.

We got to the mechanic and came to an agreement. He has Job (the mechanic) fix his car and Job will send me the bill. Unfortunately, he won’t be able to fix it until tomorrow or Tuesday and also I still don’t know how much it’s going to cost. To top it all off, my atm card isn’t working right now for some reason. I really feel like the Lord is involved in this though so I’m not worried.

This guy I hit, David, is really cool, by the way. He’s constantly asking me how I’m doing or how’s work or how my day is. The other day he gave me and a friend a ride home to save us from walking in the rain. He’s a follower of Jesus, though, and those people are usually the coolest =)

I’ve learned through this whole mess that I really do trust the Lord. I can not see at all how He is working in this but I just feel a lot of peace and trust in this situation. I know, I mean really know, that He “works all things for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.”